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Thursday, 28 September 2006 |
Prairie Lite...
By Carla Kelly
Oh, goody! It's nearly Oct. 1!
No, that's not some special holiday on Planet Grammaria requiring exclamation points. It's the end of my fiscal year for exclamation points!!
I was raised in a family where the U.S. government paid my dad's salary. I worked for a few years in the National Park Service, another government entity. My modest government background taught me that if you don't use up allocated funding during the year, it will be slashed from next year's budget.
It's the same with grammar. I never use all my exclamation points in the fiscal grammar year. If my verbs or the occasional adjective aren't exciting enough, an exclamation point will only inject false enthusiasm, the kind cheerleaders exude when the score is 78-0 and fans are sidling toward the exits, making no eye contact.
As Oct. 1 approaches, I find myself in the ticklish position of being forced to use up those pesky points. I don't want them to disappear entirely from my writing budget, so I must find a home for them here and there before that deadline!
I don't like them. Maybe they're not part of my Scots DNA. People with an ancestral memory of damp, bog, chapped knees and haggis (horrors!), probably aren't inclined to look kindly upon perky punctuation. More for us the sledgehammer of a semi-colon.
Ah, the semi-colon. People who use the semi-colon are few. Those of us who do use it correctly are of above average intelligence. That's the way it is. Sorry!
I admit I did use more exclamation point when I was a teenager. I think I even drew big, fat circles to dot the i's. I blame that on teenage angst that requires us to "find ourselves." I quickly found it looked stupid and quit.
I was nurtured in high school by Jean Dugat, my first and only journalism instructor. Miss D believed in the verb's ability to liven any paragraph. She looked with no favor on the word, "very," either. To this day, I weigh the use of that word with more deliberation than most world leaders devote to world peace. Want a very? I have plenty.
The right word matters. Every year around Feb. 24, Miss D would put Lt. Col. William Travis's last message from the Alamo on her bulletin board. We expected it; this was Texas, for crying out loud.
I think now there was more to it than just a patriotic message. As I reread Travis's last letter, I am impressed ? maybe humbled ? by his clear use of language. Was Miss D trying to teach us something?
Here's the text. Travis was fond of the dash, but that's okay. He knew he was going to die. Maybe he was using up his fiscal year of dashes.
To the People of the world & all Americans in the world ? Fellow citizens & compatriots ? I am besieged by a thousand or more of the Mexicans under Santa Anna ? I have sustained a continual Bombardment & cannonade for 24 hours & have not lost a man ? The enemy has demanded a surrender at discretion, otherwise, the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken ? I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, & our flag still waves proudly from the walls ? I shall never surrender or retreat.
Then, I call on you in the name of Liberty, of patriotism & everything dear to the American character, to come to our aid, with all dispatch ? The enemy is receiving reinforcements daily & will no doubt increase to three or four thousand in four or five days.
If this call is neglected, I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country ? Victory or death.
William Barret Travis, Lt. Col. Comdt
Wow. What a cool customer Travis was. Everything is about to go to pieces and there is not an exclamation point in sight.
Now and then, though, only an exclamation point will do. Consider Gen. Anthony McAuliffe's written response on Dec. 21, 1944, when the German command demanded his surrender at Bastogne in the Battle of the Bulge: "Nuts!"
Perfect. Thank goodness McAuliffe hadn't run out of exclamation points. That's why I hoard them. No telling when you might need one. Just one.
P.S. Sandy, I'm going to miss you here at the Times-Records. Any time you need an extra exclamation point, just ask.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 04 December 2006 )
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