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It usually happens when Iâm the passenger in a car. It also shows itself when Iâm quietly waiting to be called in to an appointment. The worst time is right before Iâm ready to fall asleep. Wonder. Quite frankly, wonder appears most everywhere I go during my day. I donât invite it along and just like a wood tick it attaches itself to me and comes along for the ride. It shows itself when I donât really want it to.
I donât have time to go to a psychologist or therapist so I hope you donât mind that I use all of you. I just need to purge some of my wonder on to this page so I can make room for some things coming up in my life that are exciting and good.
I wonder how a sperm and an egg know to grow a skunk into the colors black and white and equip it with a defense of smell.
I wonder why I can move a rock and find a whole community of different colored bugs and shaped bugs and theyâre all getting along under there without any light but humans donât.
I wonder why people call tennis shoes, âtennis shoesâ when rarely theyâre used for that.
I wonder how the sun knows how to come up in the east and set in the west and it does it perfectly every time.
I wonder if Iâll ever stop wondering so I wonder some more.
I wonder if chili tastes the same to you as it does to me. Or does chili taste like spaghetti to you and chili to me but we both call it chili just because thatâs what someone named it? I wonder if weâll ever know.
I wonder if animals look at humans after we shave our legs, our armpits, our faces and think, âDude! Those humans look so naked!â
I wonder if the foot doctor ever gets giggly looking at some of the feet he has to see?
I wonder if heâd giggle at mine.
I wonder why that husband of mine almost always comes home with the wrong thing from the grocery store even though I wrote it down.
I wonder if Iâll get a warning message that only Iâll be able to hear just before Iâm about to die.
I wonder why itâs ok to say, âThe ââfâ word,â âMohammed,â and âDiarrheaâ but the first mention of âJesusâ puts the masses into a tailspin?
I wonder why the whole world doesnât put the toilet paper roll on to roll over and not under.
I wonder why that husband of mine says, âItâs not all about you Jodi Rae!â Of course it is all about me when youâre me. I wonder if heâll ever understand.
Iâm a fraud. Those things I just typed I really do wonder about butâŠ
I want to tell you what I really wonder but I donât have the guts to ask.
Everything I wonder about lately is much more serious than all of that.
The things I wonder about most of you, I would hope, would agree with me on. However Iâve learned from writing a column for so long that the people who donât agree can inflict some pretty disparaging damage on oneâs reputation. They can take one little insight, belief or sentence and use it against you in ways you could have never imagined.
I once wrote something to lighten the heavy hearts of residents in our city after the newest flood outlook was just released. I wrote, âWould you all like to join me in a rowdy chorus of âRow, row, row your boat?â I got a message that said, âYou need to find Jesus!â And another note said, âYou need to spend more time praying than wishing a flood on Valley City.â How they took that and turned it into âthatâ was so far beyond me. I prayed for them instead. I wondered if they knew how wrong they read me.
I wonder then, after all of the harsh words, disagreeing, unforgiving statements why Iâd even consider telling you what Iâm really wondering about.
I guess Iâll know all of the answers to my questions soon after November 2nd.
I wonder if youâll vote.
I wonder if youâll vote because youâve researched or if youâll vote because youâre reacting to one single thing that applies to your current life situation.
I wonder if you know the word âfreeâ doesnât mean free when it comes to healthcare and that instead it means, âMandated.â
I wonder if you know that mandated means, âcommand.â
I wonder if youâre a smoker and someone commands you to quit how that would make you feel and react.
I wonder if the elderly have been informed how concerned they should be.
I wonder if aborted babies scream as theyâre being killed. I scream when I stub my toe so I have to wonder that.
Most of all I wonder why we allow it all. I wonder. Thatâs all. I just do.
Thank you for seeing me on such short notice and offering your therapeutic expertise in allowing me to vent. After November 2nd it may take me a whole lot longer to get in to seek help for any psychological or medical need. Iâll be the blonde rowing her boat, holding her gun, wearing her fur, sporting her âI just votedâ sticker living in the woods mandating her own freedom.
Ingstad lives on the prairie near Valley City and writes this column for the Times-Record.